


Magic doesn't exist

by SlaveToGravity



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Cancer, Hospital, Love, M/M, Magic, Sickness, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7471701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlaveToGravity/pseuds/SlaveToGravity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magic isn't a thing, here. And it will never be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magic doesn't exist

**Author's Note:**

> HoI !!  
> Hey, I'll never stop saying this, and I'm sorry if it's bothering you, but I'm french. And I'm not that good at english. So please, I beg you, if there is any fault, tell me. I want to make this text readable (?) and I want you, beautiful reader, enjoy reading my -shitty- story. So please, I need your help. Maybe one day I'll stop making mistakes, maybe. I'll do my best !
> 
> If you're dealing with cancer or any illness like that, I hope you the best. I wish you a good life, I wish you everything. I don't have power and I don't think magic exists, but I wish you the best. Even if I don't know you, I want you to be happy. And it goes the same for everyone out there that is dealing with something difficult. Don't ever give up. There is always someone to help you, to support you. I want you to be happy, to enjoy life. Please, I beg you, never give up.
> 
> Well, I won't bother you longer than that. Enjoy this text (I hope).  
> Love ya :3

          Magic doesn't exist. It doesn't cure desease, it doesn't save countless lifes, it doesn't help mental illness, it doesn't change the world, because it doesn't exist. Jack had been taught that since his youth. He will grow up in a world where magic is just a beautiful fantasy in the mind of a five years old child. No more, no less. His mother, his father, his sisters, his brothers, everyone kept repetting this to him, putting on his mind that no matter what happens, he will never be saved by some mysterious and poetic magic. Because it simply dosn't exist. At first, he thought it was all a bad joke, a cruel story, to teach him how to count only on himself, to be indepedant. Because evryone, every boys and every girls were speaking about magic with such sparkling eyes and excited voices. Everyone, even adults, were putting so much trust in magic. So why not him ?  
          But when his mother died from cancer, he stopped. He stopped thinking that a fairy, a good guy, someone, would come and save his beautiful and kindful mother's life. He stopped trusting those marvellous lies. He stopped listening to others. His mother had been kind, gentle, careful all her life, she had been helpful, had been the best woman in the world, so why magic didn't help her ? Why wasn't she magically saved when she was suffocating on her white bed ? why ? She died in a hospital bed without seeing her family one last time, without putting a last light kiss on their cheeks. Jack couldn't endure that. All of that because magic doesn't exist. So he stopped. His heart stopped beating with magic, it started beating with blood and oxygen. His eyes stopped seeing pink and fluffy fairies, huge dragons, princesses, princes, it started seeing the hard reality slowly destroying the world, hitting him in the face like a rock. Without magic, everything was so difficult, yet so true. Too true. Way too true.  
          Jack started to work. He worked at first with small jobs, insignificant jobs, here and there, gaining a small amount of money. He started to have a new life, without magic. Not everyone was nice; there weren't anything such as princesses, kings, queens or princes. There weren't brave soldiers, strong dragons, smart queens, kind kings. There were tired workers, useless gouvernment, drunk homeless person near his apartment, stupid couple making out next door every night, loud kids never tired. No magic, reality. Only reality. Harsh reality, spitting on your face all your faults. Fucking beautiful reality.  
          But one day, Jack discovered Youtube. A free place to post, share, see, like, talk. He liked this place. At first, he was just a "reader" in the story, a spectator in the spectacle, a viewer in Youtube. But time after time, videos after videos, he started to develop a certain interest in the thing that "youtuber" was. And when he saw a certain "Markipler", doing this as a full-time job, loving his life, playing video-games and gaining his life, he decided to start his own channel. Jacksepticeye... Not immediate success, not big amount of views, not many subscribers, but he was happy as he was. And one day, everything changed. A shoutout and his channel exploded. Day after day, more and more people from all arount the world were seeing his videos.More subscribers, more views, more likes, more interest. He gained new friends, popularity, a whole new life, it was almost magic. Jack started to think that maybe, just maybe, magic was a thing. Not fairy, star, dragon and white knight, but more like luck, a huge luck that comes at one point of your life. And that leaves straight away. Jack, after almost four years of Youtube, got sick. More than a cold, more than an insignificant little illness. He got cancer. Like his mother.  
          Tiredness, exhaustion, sickness, pain, troubles, Jack lost his usual self. He got skinnier, paler, more tired than before. He couldn't stop sleeping, he couldn't stop crying. Instead of two videos per day, it became one per day, one every two days, one every week. And suddenly, it stopped. Between the pressure, the stress, the hospital, the treatments, he couldn't endure doing Youtube anymore. He never told why. He never told his friends, his subscribers, his viewers, why he stopped so suddenly. Despite the Internet going crazy, the medias starting to talk about him, his friends panicking, he never said a single word about his cancer and his too big chance to die, like his mother did before.  
          Magic never existed. He knew that. There has never been something invisible around him that would whisper the good answers in his ears. There has never been a good fairy, at his side, that would tell him which way to go, what to do, what to say. And there has never been a magic being that could have tell him sooner that he's got cancer. Never. And now, it was too late. If magic existed, he would have been safe, with his mother, but no. He will die, like her, Without seeing his love ones, his friends, his brothers, his sisters, his sad father. Because magic was just a stupid and fucked up thing, that no one should trust. He should have listened to his parents and not those cheesy kids with their destroyed minds. He really should have done that. And today, like his mother, he would have been prepared to die from cancer without beeing disappointed, sad, mad, regretful. How fucked up was he now ? Oh, too much to know.

          Mark put the game in pause. He sighed and leaned in his confortable and maybe too expensive black chair. He closed his eyes, just for a second, to recall everything. He was late for his videos, like usual, so he wasn't caring too much about that. In less than an hour, he would have to do a cooperation with Feliw and Ken, and let's be honest, he wasn't ready. And last but not least, Jack had disappeard. His sighed again, stronger and longer than before. He couldn't handle this. His worry, his sadness, his stress, he just couldn't. Everyone, Felix, Wade, Bob, Ken, absolutly everyone tried at least one time to speak to him, call him, text him, but nothing. Not a word from the missing irishman. Right now, in Mark's head was a mixture of concern, stress, disappointment and rage. He wished he could see the man, hug him until he suffocates, kiss him everywhere, but he couldn't even see his face or listen his voice. He knew too well the man was facing a wall, a problem way too big for him to handle alone, but what could Mark do ? He already bought a ticket last week, so he could just wait his flight. He wished he could have buy a ticket the day before and then arrive the following day, but it wasn't like that, things weren't magic, and Mark knew too well reality was fucked up. Maybe too much. So he was waiting. For a sign, a call, a text, a message, anything that could throw away his concern, but nothing. It wasn't Jack to disappear like that. He usually would have told him the problem, he would have reassured him, but really, nothing. And Mark, like all the Internet right now, could only speculate and trust each and every rumour. A bad break-up with an unknown girlfriend or boyfriend, a family problem, a sudden death, a wi-fi problem, a new found interest, a surprisingly strong depression, a bad desease. Mark was scared for Jack, so scared. One of them was obviously true, but which one ? Mark was fearing the worst. But everything was way too scary to be true, right ? Jack would have told him if any of those rumours were happening, right ? He was his best friend after all... right ?  
          Mark sighed louder again and put his head in his hands, his elbows in the desk in front of him. The camera was still running, recording everything. His exasperation, his fear, his sadness, his tiredness, everything. Even his pityful self being pityful, as usual. If it wasn't for his subscribers, he would have stopped making videos and would have cried while searching for Jack. But he just couldn't stop here and there and do whatever he wanted to. They were all waiting for him, for his videos, behind their screens, so he had to give them what they were waiting for. It was exhausted, but he liked that. And he had to do that. Even if Jack had to do something more important to do than Youtube, he couldn't just stop there and go see him. So right now, he'll just wait for his fligh, for his coop, for the time to fly, for everything to change. For the magic to work.

          Sean lost the track of time. He lost blood, logic, hair, but what he missed the most was the time. He couldn't figure how fast things were moving, how everything had changed. And when he saw Mark for the first time after an incalculable amount of time, he thought that his time was running out too quickly. For the first day, in his white cell, under his white sheets, looking at his almost white TV, when he saw the colorful Mark entering, he cried. Maybe too much, he didn't know. But Mark was here. He was looking at him with his teary eyes and shaking body. They hugged for so long. Sean didn't know how long, he couldn't know. But Mark could. And he knew. Two hours, almost three. For so long, after so much time apart, they hugged, like nothing existed, like noone was here, around them, dying and suffering in the same hospital. And for Sean and Mark, this was freedom. Laughing and crying in each-other's arms, like nothing was there, making disappear the monitor, the doctors, the nurses, everything. Sean smiled, like the happy irishman he was before. And Mark loved like he ever had. They were so happy. They built a shield together, made of memories, of love, of security, of dreams. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could destroy their house, their beautiful shield. Apart one thing. Cancer.

" - I'm sorry. For everything. For not telling you why I disappeared, why I stopped Youtube, why I told no one. I'm sorry. "

          Mark stopped hugging Sean and sat at the edge of the white bed, putting a soft and reassuring hand over Sean's skinny arm. He sighed and looked at Sean's blue eyes.

" - I have to be the one being sorry, Sean. I didn't come to see you before, I thought everything was fine when it wasn't. I should have known and tried to come sooner. I'm sorry, Sean. If I weren't so stupid, I would have come and hug you. I'm sorry. "

          Sean looked deeply in Mark's eyes. His tired and weak eyes met the teary and sparkling eyes of Mark. Deadly blue met lively brown. Soon to be closed eyes begged the curious and infinite brown and beautiful eyes of Mark. Sean cried. He let heavy tears rushed down his pale and diged cheeks. Mark hugged Sean again and put his head on his shoulder.

" - Please, Mark don't apologize. I beg you, don't apologize. I'm the one who tried to go away, to forget you. But I'm the one who failed. I couldn't forget you, Mark, I love you too much. I'm so sorry, Mark. "

          They hugged each-other again, not letting any breath escaped their mouths. After ten, maybe twenty minutes of pure silence, Sean calm, Mark quiet, the rasped and tired voice of Sean resonated quietly in Mark's ear.

" - You know, Mark, I saw so many futures. Despite my sickness, despite the near end of my damaged road, I saw so many futures I could live. I could continue Youtube, I could love and share everything I gained with someone, I could marry the love of my life, I could have done so much. And yet, here I am, dying, not seeing the light of the bright and clean day again, stucked in my white jail. You know, Mark... ? "

          Mark looked at Sean, tears in his eyes. He waited. For what ? For Sean's words ? For the end of his life ? For what exactly ? He waited so much. And now, he forgot. Oh, he forgot what he was waiting for. But he waited. He'll continue to wait. He was good at that, wasn't he ?

" - ... What ? "

          It was Sean's turn to forget. What was he going to say before seeing Mark's sad face ? That he loved him ? That his life sucked ? That he was going to make it out alive ? But who was he tricking ? Not even his own mind. Magic wasn't true, and despite his lover being here, at his side, it wouldn't save him. It wasn't like that. It wasn't magic. Mark wasn't magic, but he loved him. He loved his personality, his body, his presence. He loved this man right here, in front of him, crying for his friend's life. It hit Sean too fast, too hard. He wasn't going to grow old with this man, he wasn't going to see the world evolve, he wasn't going to build any of all those beautiful and poetic futures he created in his dreamy mind. He wasn't going to do anything. He couldn't anymore do anything. It was painful, too painful, for the little Sean. He hoped so much, too much. It was too difficult to Sean, too frightful. He didn't want to let go og all those dreams. He couldn't...

" - I don't wanna die... "

          Mark cried, screamed, shivered. Sean put his face in his shivering hands. He wanted to live a life with Mark, where Youtube would be their home, where they could be happy, far away from any hospital. But it wasn't going to be like this. It will never be. Because magic wasn't a thing here. It was just a trick that kids were attached to. And a lie that adults had forgotten for too long. Magic never existed. And it will never exist.


End file.
